Cooking with Charlie: Grand Theft Auto IV salmon

In today’s edition of Cooking with Charlie, we’ll be making delectable Grand Theft Auto IV Salmon — so named in honor of Tuesday’s release of the stellar video game. It’s easy:

1) Go to the store.
2) Look at all the stuff that’s available to buy and complain to yourself about how long it will take to put it together in a meal once you get it home.
3) Go look at the frozen pizzas.
4) Chastise yourself for even thinking about buying pre-processed, sodium-laden, and unhealthy (but delicious) frozen food.
5) Think, Eh, I haven’t had fish in a while — let’s head over to the fish counter.
6) Head over to the fish counter.
7) Look! Preprepared “Herb Crusted Lemon Dijon Pacific Salmon”!
8.) Say, “I’ll have a few of those please”.
9) Go home, put ‘em in a 400 degree oven for 25 minutes.
10) Make some rice or something

Et voila! A hearty, flavorful, and nutritious treat from the sea!

Join us next time for more Cooking with Charlie, when we’ll make a savory Despicable Soup (now with less motor oil). I’m working on getting Sheryl Crow to join us but I don’t think she’ll give me the time of day. And can somebody explain my sudden infatuation with her songs? It’s not like me to suddenly go crazy for chick pop. Maybe there’s too many prescription drugs in the water supply?

Cooking with Charlie

I call this dish “Charlie’s Eastern Chicken Surprise”.

Instructions:

1.) Look around the kitchen for stuff to make.
2.) Get frustrated that there’s nothing to eat and debate ordering pizza.
3.) Throw hands in the air and decry pizza as unhealthy, then decide to make something yourself.
4.) Put some yummy spicy ginger peanut sauce in a pan and put it on medium heat.
5.) Cut up some chicken breast and throw it onto the pan. Cook it ’til it done.
6.) Put some snow peas in a bowl.
7.) Put some of those little crunchy chow mein noodle things on top of the snow peas.
8.) Put some Mandarin orange chunks on top of the little crunchy chow mein noodle things.
9.) Put your chicken on top of that.
10.) Add more little crunchy chow mein noodle things to taste.
11.) Get out your bottle of ginger peanut sauce and open it up.
12.) Apply liberally.
13.) Taste your dish and say, “meh”.
14.) Decide to blog about it because it looks cool. Take a picture with your cell phone.

Join us next time on Cooking with Charlie where we’ll make “Charlie’s Western Chicken Surprise”. Plus we’ll share valuable tips for “just giving up and ordering pizza”. Bam.