While my Xbox gently weeps

I feel like discussing this morning’s announcement of a Beatles music game a la “Rock Band” or “Guitar Hero”. If you read my blog or don’t live in a submarine, then you probably know that Apple Corps. and Harmonix have banged out a deal for (what I expect) a Beatles game that will be a lot like “Rock Band”. There are few details, but Paul, Ringo, Yoko, and Olivia (Harrison) are reported to be involved.

What interests me is that Giles Martin is also involved — the same Giles that worked so lovingly with his Dad George to remix Beatles songs for a Las Vegas show based on the Fab Four’s music.

There has been a lot of stuff flying around lately about the quality of the music in a “Rock Band” or “Guitar Hero” version of a song versus the quality of the original recording. What helps a band like Metallica have a better sounding record in a video game is that video games don’t have the processing power (yet) to apply advanced signal processing to the final “mix” in a game.

This means that without the aggressive dynamic range limiting done in the studio, the songs will have a different (you can decide if it’s better or worse) sound. So…

This and some other factors mean that Giles and co. are gonna have a tough job in the following areas:

• Believably pulling separate instrument and vocal tracks out of four-track mix/master reels (God help them if they re-record)
• Applying (pseudo?) real-time compression and limiting to give listeners/players the same flowing, pumping sound that makes many of the Beatles’s records so distinct-sounding
• Pulling in an older audience that enjoyed the Beatles in the first place
• Pulling in a newer audience that would rather listen to Limp Bi

Oh well, I’ll buy the game. I’m excited to see what they come up with.

Making little jewels

A quote from an interview with Brian Eno in The San Fransisco Chronicle — I enjoyed it because it applies in part to my daily work.

Q: How did you come to compose “The Microsoft Sound”?

A: The idea came up at the time when I was completely bereft of ideas. I’d been working on my own music for a while and was quite lost, actually. And I really appreciated someone coming along and saying, “Here’s a specific problem — solve it.”

The thing from the agency said, “We want a piece of music that is inspiring, universal, blah- blah, da-da-da, optimistic, futuristic, sentimental, emotional,” this whole list of adjectives, and then at the bottom it said “and it must be 3 1/4 seconds long.”

I thought this was so funny and an amazing thought to actually try to make a little piece of music. It’s like making a tiny little jewel.

In fact, I made 84 pieces. I got completely into this world of tiny, tiny little pieces of music. I was so sensitive to microseconds at the end of this that it really broke a logjam in my own work. Then when I’d finished that and I went back to working with pieces that were like three minutes long, it seemed like oceans of time.

Bash ‘em for no reason

I really like the magazine Tape Op. It is a magazine that provides interviews with some of the most overlooked and creative (mostly working-class) music and recording people — folks who do it for the love and not bling. I have several gripes with the magazine (editor Larry Crane writes like the bullish and trouble making kind of guy you’d hate to have on your web forum, the editorials seep with pretentious and self-serving references to studio culture, drugs, and vinyl records), but the variety of interviews is awesome, and it is definitely one of the most informative resources I know of when it comes to music and audio, especially considering that you can subscribe for free.

Anyway, I was seriously irked by the latest issue’s interview with Lewis Durham. He’s from a group called Kitty Daisy & Lewis, a family band from London that only makes sense in the same sort of way that Cherry Poppin’ Daddies or Royal Crown Revue made sense fifteen years ago. In the same post that I’ll praise Tape Op for interviewing people who really make a difference in recorded music, I’ll criticize them for including Durham’s poorly-written (not to mention typewritten and scanned-in?!) history of recording. A following interview explains the confusion regarding the quality of the article — Durham turns out to be not more than a kid who’s likely obsessed with zoot suits, lucky strikes, vargas pinups, and fifty-year-old 4-track recorders for all of the wrong reasons (namely that by liking them he can recreate the sound of rockabilly and mid-century swing pop — this is clearly mirrored by the fact that using a typewriter to write your Tape Op article doesn’t make it a good article).

Why would I criticize this kid who’s just doing what he wants and trying to make the music that he likes? Well, I don’t know. Maybe I’m jealous — I too had an obsessive streak when I was eighteen, and if I had the success of his group, I would have probably taken it farther than him. I think that what he and is group are doing is fine, but that Tape Op buying-in the way that they did is annoying.

One of the things I like about Tape Op is the “it’s not the tools that matter, it’s the person using them” frame of mind. The inclusion of this article and interview go against that mentality in a very rigid and glaring way.

In the end, I won’t complain — the magazine’s free and it’s all cool — I didn’t have to read the articles. But since I decided I can complain about the absurdity of Sarah Palin ever having held an office higher than notary (and ultimately the possibility of becoming vice-president), I can criticize other people as much as I want.

Observations ‘n facts

Ever notice that there’s Wells Fargo and also Wells Cargo? LOL.

Does anybody ever really take a nap? Like for fun? Like really fall asleep in the middle of the day?

I’ve had this Elton John song, Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, stuck in my head for literally two weeks straight. What am I supposed to do about that?

I watched through all of Twin Peaks for the first time. Brilliant. The way all television should be.

I am working towards 100% completion on Indiana Jones LEGO Adventures for Xbox 360.

Protect your precious eyes

I was watching How It’s Made the other day and they were showing how glass eye prostheses are made. What makes ‘em think I wanna see that? Note that it’s just like how you’d think they make glass eyes.

Reminds me of this time when I was a lowly audio intern. I was tasked with disposing of long, burnt-out fluorescent light bulbs. I thought the sound they made when you smashed them against the dumpster was really awesome, so I actually had fun throwing them in there. One time I stood a little too close to the dumpster, and I felt/heard little shards of glass hit my eyeglasses as I smashed the bulb. Close call. Never doin’ that again — chalk it up to greeness in flying-glass physics.

PS: Go Chef Petrozza!

Where’d you go…

Isn’t it trite when someone has a blog and they don’t update it; then they write a post explaining how utterly busy or unavailable they’ve been? You won’t get that here at Charletorium, no sir. Mysterious absences go unexplained. I’m pretty much like an episode of LOST.

What’s good in games this week? Indiana Jones Lego Adventures. What’s rolling down the hill into oblivion? Grand Theft Auto IV, Age of Conan.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been actually doing work rather than playing a lot of games. But Indy Lego is just too much fun to pass up. Like way too much fun. Especially when you’re playing with someone else. And you’ve got Old Style.

Guess what? We’ve got a sweet new place for August. It’s in a pretty hip little area of da Chi. Urban me.

And you know what, I’m going to take it easy this weekend. Partly because I’m utterly poor (grumble… grumble… security deposit… grumble…), partly ’cause I’m worn out from last weekend.

By the by, There’s a funny statement on the lease for our new place — “drains don’t clog themselves, people clog them.” Makes me think of other funny stuff you can apply: “ice caps don’t melt themselves, people melt them.”

The currency of zeal

I purposefully distance myself from the fray of “election season”, since I enjoy spending my time avoiding subjects that breed zealots*.

People who try too hard to change others’ minds are themselves too easily persuaded.

Too often have I met someone who will outrightly criticize Christianity and its followers — and then in the next breath fervently convince me that his “eyes have been opened” by an article relating to some controversial issue that he read on the Internet. How can you criticize one kind of blind faith and then adamantly propagate another? Despite the fact that I’m not Christian, I’m more likely to trust an ancient book than some loudmouth blog (blogs which — beamingly proud — I am calling ‘blogaganda’).

Do me a favor, America: For everything that you read or hear, go try to find another source that gives the opposite point of view. Seriously.

Let’s pick an easy one. Go find three articles on the Internet for the death penalty. Now go find three articles against. Now make a decision. And shut up, I don’t care what you think. The best way you can tell me what to think is by voting for a candidate who supports your beliefs — while not letting the flying crap get in your ear.

For every advertising campaign that I abhor (don’t smoke marijuana or you will die in a cocoon), there’s usually one that I admire**. The popular Rock the Vote campaign has a wonderful message: vote. And that’s it. If every political blowhard preached making informed decisions rather than agreeing with his or her decision, then the “stupid” people that the zealots claim they are trying to protect will actually get smarter. The catch is that thereafter begins the cycle of propaganda. So maybe before we “educate” people on what we think they need or want — or on what we want, we should consider showing them the best way to decide for themselves.

Right, that’s called loving parenting from intelligent, unbiased people, and a decent education. Uh oh. Okay, let’s think of something else. What can we salvage here? Ah, education.

Despite existing on a workable level, the American government and election system is in tangles. The situation’s redundant — snowballing. It needs an overhaul. But it’s going to take us just as long to get out as it took us to get in. So let’s start at the beginning. Fund education — education for kids and adults — education that can present both sides of any issue as long as the data that are being taught are backed up with facts and research.

A subject that’s become just as important as reading and math is media literacy. Teach people how to decipher the messages by which they’re being bombarded literally every minute. Teach them not to take the easy way out by listening to whatever sounds best. Teach them to know what’s best for them. People aren’t gonna change unless they have a reason. And you handing out fliers on the street or cheering at a rally isn’t reason enough, sorry.

Every time you tell me to support this or vote for that, as far as I’m concerned you’re talking to yourself.

It’s never too late to change, and if you think you can change me — go ahead and try. But don’t be such an asshole about it.

*I know that it comes across as ironic and zealous that I’m writing an opinion post against zealots, but hear me out.

** Seriously, how can you argue with these things: learn, vote. The rest comes naturally. If you learn early on why you shouldn’t eat MacDonald’s, you won’t.

Tales from the chuckside

I’ve been pretty busy lately, but all of my obligations are fitting neatly into the space of my day, like little Tetris blocks of obligation. So I’m getting lots of things done — which is good, but it leaves me with little time to do the things I want — things like watching TV.

Luckily for me, my cable television company (despite having horrible video compression ratios that make everything look like it’s on YouTube) provided me with a DVR (note from professor Charlie: Digital Video Recorder). The magic of a DVR is that it allows you to open a TV schedule and select a show that you wanna record. And any time that show comes on, the DVR will dutifully perserve it for the ages.

Anyway, last night I was freakin’ swamped with stuff to do, so I went to record Top Chef Chicago so I could watch it later. But I couldn’t! Disk Drive Full, said the DVR. I’d just cleared a bunch of shows from the queue a week earlier — I couldn’t imagine what could be clogging the bowels of my poor DVR.

When I checked, I realized that — months ago — I had set it to record Tales from the Darkside whenever the show came on. Luckily for me, yesterday was some kind of Tales from the Darkside marathon on the sci fi channel. So my DVR recorded eighteen episodes of this wonderful eighties b-horror TV! Sadly in the process it erased a Mars Volta concert (in HD grr…) and Spielberg’s Munich, but who cares!

So this post is just a very convuluted way of telling everybody how awesome Tales from the Darkside is. Just yesterday I delightfully delved into the wonderful world of TftDS (as us fans refer to it in shorthand), watching the first of the many episodes to which I now have instant access.

The episode was about a collections agent who worked from home, angrily calling slackers to demand payment. One day she’s going about her duties in her expensive Manhattan condo (with central air and a giant stereo system), when she starts getting phone calls from a debtor that had recently died! This freaks her out, and the ghost won’t stop calling. Anyway, an Angel of Death, posing as a city worker, comes on behalf of the dead to wreak revenge on the collections agent. See, it turns out that the collections agent, by way of her incesant phone calls, had driven this poor laundry lady (with a brain tumor, by-the-way) to suicide. In the end, the angel of death decides to show mercy on the collections agent by not killing her, but by instead transforming her into her victim — an old mexican woman with a brain tumor living in a run down tenemant with overdue washer and dryer payments.

Must-see-TV indeed!

sigh…

Cooking with Charlie: Grand Theft Auto IV salmon

In today’s edition of Cooking with Charlie, we’ll be making delectable Grand Theft Auto IV Salmon — so named in honor of Tuesday’s release of the stellar video game. It’s easy:

1) Go to the store.
2) Look at all the stuff that’s available to buy and complain to yourself about how long it will take to put it together in a meal once you get it home.
3) Go look at the frozen pizzas.
4) Chastise yourself for even thinking about buying pre-processed, sodium-laden, and unhealthy (but delicious) frozen food.
5) Think, Eh, I haven’t had fish in a while — let’s head over to the fish counter.
6) Head over to the fish counter.
7) Look! Preprepared “Herb Crusted Lemon Dijon Pacific Salmon”!
8.) Say, “I’ll have a few of those please”.
9) Go home, put ‘em in a 400 degree oven for 25 minutes.
10) Make some rice or something

Et voila! A hearty, flavorful, and nutritious treat from the sea!

Join us next time for more Cooking with Charlie, when we’ll make a savory Despicable Soup (now with less motor oil). I’m working on getting Sheryl Crow to join us but I don’t think she’ll give me the time of day. And can somebody explain my sudden infatuation with her songs? It’s not like me to suddenly go crazy for chick pop. Maybe there’s too many prescription drugs in the water supply?

Grand theft pocketbook

Oh man, life’s cool lately. Within the coming month:

A) Special screening of Death Wish 3 with some guys from work featuring Charles Bronson burgers (read White Castle Sliders).

B) Buddy of mine’s coming to stay while he starts a new job in the area.

C) Visit from my lady and also some family and friends — off to a Cubs game!

D) New episodes of LOST resume!

E) Moving within the city pretty soon — possibly with aforementioned buddy.

F) Grand Theft Auto IV for Xbox 360! Five days and counting!

Strangely, I’m especially looking forward to playing GTA IV. Rockstar Games set a standard for open-world game play and immersion with the original Grand Theft Auto, and from what I’ve seen from the previews, the latest installment will not disappoint. My brain is scrambling to think of an example to provide — but honestly the game appears to be so vast and packed full that I feel like if I included one thing, I’d be excluding a million others. So just wait for the rockin’ review to come soon. I am gonna have to do a lot of playing to get through a good amount of the game before other stuff in life demands my attention, but that’s fine — if only to prove to myself that I am not an obsessed gamer nerd.